Daddy Do My Socks Match?

As a parent of two children, from time to time I think of myself more as a referee than a father. I think the greatest investment a parent of multiple children can make is in boxing gear. I'm serious! I'm talking full head gear, gloves, a ring, the works! If you can afford it, get one of those inflatible boxing rings with the huge gloves and oversized head protectors. They'll laugh so hard, they'll forget why they were fighting to begin with.

I was an only child. I don't understand the desire to beat your sibling to death over relatively mundane issues. I would have loved to have the live-in playmate. By the time my sister came into the picture, I was eleven and I filled more of the protector role than the jealous sibling. I never found myself wanting to smack my little sister upside the head. My little brother, now occasionally I felt like knocking him around, but usually just for fun and not because of an overwhelming desire to crush him.

Now my wife, on the other hand, tells of a different childhood where sisters fight constantly. Her father had boxing gloves and he would spread a blanket on the floor and tell them to, "Commence to fighting!" They'd laugh and laugh. I see a great deal of wisdom in my father-in-laws approach to handling sibling disputes.

I have been known to tell my girls to, "Fight to the death," when the moment arrives and I have had all I can stand. It worked when they were both little, but now my oldest looks at me and says okay while putting her sister in a headlock. Yeah, boxing gloves are looking like a real good thing to look for at garage sales this summer, and some noise dampening headphones, like what they wear on an aircraft carrier. Yeah, maybe some of those gigantic sumo suits, something. My hair is turning grey and if they keep going, i'm afraid it might just turn loose!